Today was not my best day as a mother, but everyone has days like that. It's just not a good sign when you wake up and before three sentences have been muttered you can't wait for everyone to be out of the house, and maybe stay there until after dinner. Between the hours of 8:25 and 2:50, my day went pretty well. I got most of my "to-do" list done and even got to listen to a little Harry Potter while working. I was in a great mood both walking down to school and walking back home. Not a great sign, again, when not even three sentences had been muttered once home and I was wondering where everyone could go until bedtime. Couldn't even get a break during soccer as one son (shall remain nameless) had a not-so-positive progress report from school due to laziness and got to spend the hour in the car with me doing schoolwork instead of with his team playing soccer. I had issues with the laziness. He had issues with my having issues. We were lots of fun to be around. Things did calm down and we got a good start on things being ok by the end of practice. Not really in the mood for family dinner (making or eating) or Family Home Evening, but we persevered. Things finally turned around at bed time. I knew I was forgiven when said nameless son asked me to tuck him in and prayed that I'd have a good day tomorrow in his prayers. I even got a hug and a kiss.
I spent a lot of time today wondering why it is I ever wanted to be a full time mom. There must have been a really good reason. In many, many ways, it is the hardest job on the planet. We joke about it, but raising children is not for sissies. I wasn't sure that I'd be able to end the day wanting to get up and try again tomorrow. A little love and forgiveness go a long way, though. I'm pretty sure I'll get out of bed and hit the ground running tomorrow. The way things look right now, I'll even be happy to see everyone and enjoy the few moments we all have before my family scatters for the day. That's why I do what I do. The rewards, every day and for eternity, are so precious. The consequences of giving up too terrible to consider. In the end, it will be worth every minute.