Thursday, October 20, 2011

Amazing Parenting 101- Step by Step Instructions

Step 1:

When your child complains of a sore foot, tell him to give it some time because he probably just strained it participating in PE that day.

Step 2:

Figure it must have gotten better since he doesn't ever complain about it again- just mentions it in passing.

Step 3:

When he brings it up again in the middle of soccer season 2 YEARS later, tell him it's probably just from soccer and see how it feels when the season is over.

Step 4:

Ten days after the season ends, finally take him in to the doctor.

Step 5:

Bask in your amazingness as you tell the doctor and the nurse and the x-ray technician- out loud and to their faces- that your son has had a sore foot for 2 YEARS (even though he hadn't really complained about it and played soccer two more seasons, and had 2 rounds of PE, and all that other stuff and seemed to be fine.)

Step 6:

Be totally impressed with your son when the x-ray appears to show he's had a broken foot for 2 YEARS and he's not really complained about it and played soccer two more seasons, and had 2 rounds of PE, and all that other stuff and seemed to be fine.

Step 7:

Be somewhat concerned that even though it appears to just be an avulsion fracture it still hasn't healed in 2 YEARS and agree that a referral to an orthopedic surgeon is probably warranted.

Step 8:
Agree to not make said son do the mile run in PE on Tuesday, but stand firm in demanding that chores be completed.  After all, he's not really complained about it and played soccer two more seasons, and had 2 rounds of PE, and all that other stuff and seemed to be fine for 2 YEARS.  I think a couple more days of vacuuming the living room before seeing the orthopedic surgeon isn't going to make matters all that much worse.  (But go ahead and buy him a cookies and cream candy bar.  You don't have to be totally heartless.)

Sorry Joseph.  I've said it before and I'll say it again- It's amazing, sometimes, that humans live to adulthood.

 There's probably some way to mark this, but I don't know what it is.  The fracture is the edge of the bump on the right.  The doctor circled it with a pen, so it looks like a dark line of shadow surrounded by a hairline fracture.  The hairline fracture is just ball point pen.


Mom O' Nine said...

It could happen to anyone. When my Danielle was in the 4th grade, our little dog grabbed her sock as she was going down the stairs. I took her to the doctor, thought her toes were broken, and asked for crutches. The pediatrician informed me she had 'strained' ligaments, and to have her move the toes as much as possible. She seriously couldn't walk, so didn't send her to school for about 4 days. Sent her to school, told her not to do PE and sent in a note. They had a sub in PE. He handed her a jump rope and told her to do the best she could, but he expected her to participate. Came home--toes were black. Called CIGNA--took her in. She said to ice it and was she moving the toes as they WERE NOT BROKEN. A month later I get a call, and the pediatrician wanted to see Danielle immediately. I told her Danielle was finally getting better, i had four extra kids and I wasn't going any place. She insisted. She finally got a piece of paper across her desk that said the toes were spirally fractured. Let just say the toes were mangled. both growth plates were affected, and she has mini toes that never grew. Wonder why? I say, could be worse. I do like your positive attitude. Keep it up!

Julie said...

I'm glad I'm not alone in this parenting behavior. Poor Travis had a similar issue. I love your sense of humor, Shannon!

nicciwoffinden said...

Oh, this made me laugh...just waiting for me to do the same thing myself someday, cause I know it's gonna happen:)

lotripp said...

I would do EXACTLY the same thing. I feel your pain, though! Keep up the humor and good luck!

Joy For Your Journey said...

I had to laugh at this. I have done the same thing twice!! One daughter complained of a hurt arm and I told her to ice it. A couple years later she was complaining about it hurting again so this time I took her to the doctor. He looked at the x-ray and asked, "So when did she break her arm before?"

Then my other daughter told me her finger hurt. I said "That's too bad" A month later she showed me a very crooked finger and asked, "Should my finger look like this?" I said, "Kathryn!! Why didn't you tell me you broke your finger?" She said she told me it was hurt and I just said, "That's too bad."

Maybe no one should have more than one child. :-)

Jenny said...

You can't win 'em all, right?

Lybi said...

When my Joseph broke his wrist, I told his to stop crying so much. I thought if it was broken or even sprained that there would be some swelling or something....Finally took him to the dr. a week later when the swelling finally showed up. Remorse!

How could we do such a thing? Well, jeez, 99 times out of a hundred the Drs. are like "your kid is fine, why'd you even bring him in?" But there is always that one time where they say "This is serious, lady, why didn't you bring him in?!?!?" Shoot.

luvmymunchkins said...

LOL! I'm glad it all worked out in the long run. I love reading your blog!

trublubyu said...

that's awesome! and amazing. i think he has a high pain thresh hold.