World Congress of Families

 con·gress  (knggrs)n.

1. A formal assembly of representatives, as of various nations, to discuss problems.

2. The national legislative body of a nation, especially a republic.

As most everyone knows, the United States Congress (definition #2) meets fairly regularly (not counting holidays).  It is extensively covered with the proceedings of each day hashed and rehashed on news stories via any media platform you choose.   The debates, discussions, and votes that occur there affect the lives of everyone in the USA, and sometimes many people outside of it's borders. 

Did you know that Congress is meeting?  No, not the US Congress or even your state legislature, but the World Congress of Families (definition #1).  Never heard of it?  Me either, until last week.  It is a group of scholars, educators, religious leaders, pro-family organizations, and basically anyone interested in preserving  natural families as the fundamental unit of society.  They meet to discuss ways to strengthen families and thus society as a whole.  This is the 7th meeting of this Congress since it was started in 1997.  It's proceedings are rarely, if ever, mentioned in the news, but the topics discussed there affect every person in the world- not because they form laws or dispense money, but because every person on this earth is part of a family.

(I'd love to be there, especially since this one is in Sydney, Australia- only a few hours from my parents in Melbourne.  It would be fitting to visit family and the Family Congress at the same time, don't you think?!  But, I digress.)

I've read a little about the proceedings on a couple of blogs (Middle-aged Mormon Man, We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ and WBMW) but haven't heard a thing about it otherwise.  From what I've read, it sounds like an amazing gathering.  Some days I feel like there are only isolated little pockets of people around the world who have even the remotest interest in maintaining healthy families.  Almost everything I read or see in the news media seems to be pointing readers/viewers in the opposite direction.  How refreshing it is to see that good people from all over the world and from all kinds of religious backgrounds can gather, discuss, and agree on the fact that healthy families are what this world needs more than anything else.  I honestly believe that no real community change (neighborhood or world wide) can occur until we stabilize the families that form them.  It's like trying to build a tower with blocks of jello verses knox blox or jello jigglers.  It just won't hold up unless every part has enough gelatin to hold it's own.

So, I'm not at the Congress (either definition 1 or 2!), but I can spread the word about the World Congress of Families and I can look for ways to strengthen families in my own little corner of the world- maybe start with the one that lives in my own home.  The more we know, the better we can act and lots of little acts can combine to make a world of difference.  Let's follow the example of those meeting in Sydney and find ways to affect change on scales large and small.  Be kind. Be there.  Be aware.  Almost every family I know could use at least a little more gelatin.

 “What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.”
― Mother Teresa

Treats and Sacrifices

The boys opted to get ice cream and have hot fudge sundaes at home last night after the Priesthood Session of General Conference instead of going out for ice cream.  There are two bonuses for that.

1) Ryan and I got to have ice cream last night with them and listen to their recap of the evening.
2) The left over ice cream allowed for some After Conference P'zookies today.  Steven and Ryan even made them.  All Greg and I had to do was show up.  Sweet!

Thanks for teaching my kids all about these, Christie.  Thinking of you this evening.  Sisters are awesome!

Basic P'zookie recipe: Make a batch of the chocolate chip cookie dough of your choice.  Bake in a pan until half done.  Remove from oven and top with ice cream.  Eat right out of the pan while hot.  Enjoy.  (Tip: Let your kids eat part of your share or you'll be asking yourself what you could have possibly been thinking as you run or walk about 20 miles a day for the next several weeks to counteract all the calories.)

Tomorrow we're having popcorn and apple slices dipped in caramel sauce for Family Home Evening treats while we talk about what we learned this weekend.  Good thing Conference only comes around every 6 months.  It's going to take me until October Conference to calorically recover from April Conference! 

(I guess we all have to make sacrifices sometimes!)

It Really Does Happen

For all those who feel like these days will never end...

I'm here to say that they do- even though I didn't believe it back then.

And you really will turn around and wonder where the time went. 

 

And you'll wonder when, exactly, did her friends switch from the stuffed, plush type to the living, breathing help-you-be-the-best-you-can-be type?

 And you'll feel happy and sad at the same time.  But mostly happy.

 And you'll wish that you had fully charged the battery in your camera before you left home.  Because then the picture of your child leaving the auditorium to get in line to be announced as a graduate won't be the last picture on the camera with a good "zoom" function.

And you'll be left taking the picture of her big moment with your cell phone. (Which at least you'll have and be grateful for it!)

(Still not perfect parents- not sure exactly when that part comes- but blessed to have such amazing children, anyway!)

 

Congratulations, Erica!

Winter at Aspen Grove-The Other Half

Yesterday being President's Day, our family headed up to Aspen Grove to participate in the annual Snowshoeing/Cross Country Skiing event they hold. Last year, we went snowshoeing, had a great time, and saw half of Aspen Grove in the winter as opposed to our usual summer remembrances. This year we thought we'd try cross country skiing as none of our kiddos had ever been before. The snow wasn't as deep as last year and one mom told me the skiing trails were more slick and thus "faster" than they've been in the past. I'm willing to try again pretty much only if we run the course in reverse to see if I'd like "slower" snow and skiing mostly uphill better. Most of us had a great time, though, and we got to see the other half of Aspen Grove in the winter. There are a bunch of pictures of cabins that you will not likely find interesting unless you were there with us the last time we went. You may not even find them interesting if you were there. Feel free to scroll right on by either way.

The cross ski trail leaves from in front of Beckham Lodge and follows the dirt roads by the fish pond, ropes course, arts and crafts building, and around the cabins. Spencer took off like a shot and loved it the most. He said he was a natural. I told him it was the Norwegian in him. He must have an extra dose in there somewhere.

I'd put in pictures of everyone skiing down, but they all look pretty much the same, just fewer people at the top. Greg took the camera and went down first. This one's Joseph. The small dark shape on the right at the top is Steven sitting on the side of what was Dan and Melissa's cabin the last time we were there for a reunion. I went last. All I will say is that I prefer walking down on a dirt road to skiing down on the snow. There's just this thing I have with not ever wanting to do anything to hurt my knees ever again. Don't look for me on a downhill slope unless my life depends on it- and even then we'd be talking some pretty serious danger before I'll voluntarily go.

This is Erica and Joseph's hand as they came up to the bridge over the stream by the ropes course. Notice that some members of the family felt they didn't need a coat. Erica took her's off part way into the course, but at least had a sweatshirt on underneath. Joseph took his off before we even started and was quite happy to be wearing just a t-shirt. I think Spencer did the same. Crazy kids!

Ok, that's it for the family, the rest are pretty much just pictures of the places we were a couple of years ago for those that would like to see the difference. Enjoy if you feel like it!

The road up.

The main lodge- check out those icicles! Some of them were solid ice several inches thick all the way to the ground. Obviously there aren't many kids up there to break them off!

I think this is cabin #22. I tried to get shots of each family's cabin, but some weren't accessible.

Steven in front of that counselor cabin right near our set.

No idea what numbers they are, but I remember that some of our family stayed in them. They weren't on the trail, though that doesn't seem to have stopped people from heading over there.

#26

Bathrooms and laundry.


#28

This is the side of #27. I thought the splitting snow gave a better idea of how deep it was.

Arts and crafts

The kids arts and crafts lodge thing. I can't remember what it's called.

Ropes course

Fish Pond
It looks like they take out the walls that make the dam and just let the stream run in the winter.

Right

I should be doing dishes, but I don't feel like it. I want to write something, but haven't figured how to put what I want to say into words. Rock and a hard place. Tough one.

For those that don't know, we've had a pretty amazing weekend. The kids had Fall Break beginning last Wednesday. It happened to coincide with the first available time at the Mesa Temple for my one-year-ago baptized brother-in-law to take my sister and their sweet family to the Mesa temple to be sealed for eternity. Greg, his dad (Tom), and I were able to spend part of an afternoon in the Mesa temple with three of our children doing baptisms and confirmations. Another brother was able to schedule his 8-year-old daughter's baptism for the same weekend. All of my siblings, most of their spouses, both of my parents, my father-in-law, and my grandmother were able to be together for a few days. I love my family, all of it, both sides, and I love every minute we get to spend together.

The kids picked up perfectly timed cases of gatroenteritis on the drive home. Even this turned out to have several silver linings. Since all 5 were all sick at the same time they kind of watched out for each other. Sunday morning found them all on the floor in the living room with blankets and bowls, keeping each other company. That sight continued while Greg, Tom, and I went to church that afternoon. We were met there by Greg's brother (Mike) and his wife (Terri) and later my Aunt Nancy. They were all in our ward to be present while Greg was sustained as our bishop that day. All 5 of our kids missed it. I tried calling home on the cell phone so they could at least listen on the speaker phone at home, but the mike on my cell phone wasn't strong enough. The sweetest part came when Tom and I got home after church, though. The kids had really wanted to be there and were bummed when they couldn't hear anything. Since they couldn't hear what was happening and when, they picked a random spot during their meeting and all raised their hands to sustain their dad on their own. I don't know why that meant so much to me. I guess I just felt like that was the end of any issues we'd have with dad being bishop and gone alot. I hope I'm right.

I slept more and better than I had in weeks that night. Probably had nothing at all to do with getting no sleep the night before with kids sick all night. I know it had lots to do with a feeling of peace and that everything was right. Travel was done, we'd had some great family time, and the stress of keeping hushed about the bishop news was over. Everyone keeps asking me how life is going now. All I can say is great so far. Regular life hasn't been affected at all (knock on wood at the end of day three!). The kids are all back on their feet and back to school. I'm coming to grips with the fact that my remaining time in YW is rapidly growing very short. Even the dishes and backlog on the rest of the housework haven't been able to disrupt this feeling that everything is just "right" with the world. I don't know how long this will last, but I'm loving it.

Of Life and Parenting

I remember as a young girl planning to have the perfect family. I was going to be done making mistakes by the time I was grown up. (Go ahead and insert a big hearty laugh right here!) When Erica was a baby I decided I'd just live perfectly today and then get up and live perfectly again tomorrow. I wouldn't worry about the future because all those perfect todays would create a perfect past and set a habit for future ones. (Another laugh.) Because I would be living perfectly, of course my family would as well. (And another.) My children would always do what was right and have clean bedrooms without my asking. (And another.) Now, this isn't a confession of any major sins, but somewhere along the line I missed a day or two (or 10,000) of those perfect days. Despite my best intentions I keep making mistakes and so does the rest of my family. I'm not including a clean bedroom count for today on purpose because it would not be a very large number by any measure!

Having a child who has as many months left in high school as I have fingers and toes has led me along some interesting thought paths lately. I've been thinking for the last little while about helping children grow and be independent- and not just financially. My mom told me once that one of their goals as parents was to have their children be completely responsible for themselves by the time the reached the age of 16. That way they could have two years of making decisions and living with the consequences of those decisions while they lived at home and had a huge safety net around them. I've always thought that was a good idea. My oldest is almost 16 and I find myself wondering how we're doing. There are lots of questions. Can she wash clothes, buy and prepare food, handle a bad day, find a job, maintain grades, safely drive the car, make good choices, be responsible, choose to be happy? I'm realizing that no one is going to show up and hand me a "parenting diploma" when each child reaches the point of independence so I know we're done. We have to hope we've done enough when it's time for them to spread their wings and fly.

The darn thing is that each child is different. Erica is great in certain areas while each of the boys have their own strengths as well, but none of them is the same. Each one also has their own, individual, weaknesses- alot of them handed them by their parents! That means that where we step in to support one child will not be needed for another. I think "one-size-fits-all" parenting is easier! This different personality thing leads to too many questions. Where does one draw the line? When does helping out your family members and doing something nice cross the line to enabling? How do we make it "fair" for everyone? How do you know you've taught lessons well enough that your children will be able to live healthy, productive lives on their own? I don't pretend to even come close to having any, much less all the answers, but there are some things I'm slowly beginning to understand.

1) I wasn't perfect starting out on my own, so why should I expect my children to be? It's ok to make mistakes, hurt feelings, and bounce a check in the process of growing up as long as we learn from the experiences, change, and don't make them habits. Sometimes one returned check will do more to prevent any others than all the discussions and teaching by a parent. As a perfectionist, though, it's hard to allow mistakes to happen when there's something I can do to prevent it. Too bad my children's lives are theirs and not mine! Experience is one great teacher.

2) Heavenly Father loves me, warts and all. The least I can do is pass that along to my earthly children. I want them to understand and forgive me when I make mistakes, I can do the same. We love each other, no matter what.

3) The Atonement. Do we REALLY understand the amazing blessing it is? Do we REALLY understand what it means to have a mistake- large or small- removed, gone, cleaned up, paid for; that each of us can be clean and have a fresh start from wherever we happen to be? There is work involved, to be sure, but it's possible. The absolutely amazing part is that Heavenly Father wants it for us and has done everything He can to make it happen. He doesn't turn His back at mistake #1 say, "Forget it." and move on. He comes back everytime that we let Him. The other part of that is that He promises to make up any shortcomings we have as long as we're trying the best we know how. My best effort will be different than any of my children because we're different people, but the shortcoming will still be made up. Amazing.

4) There is nothing more valuable than knowing and doing for ourselves. I heard on the radio yesterday that studies show that paying children for grades or rewarding them with cash or treats for finishing schoolwork does absolutely nothing to help them scholastically. I think life is the same. If I choose to help out a neighbor because I will get a reward, I have very little chance of doing so a second time unless a reward is offered again. If, however, I help a neighbor because I love them and like the good feeling it brings, then my chances of repeating that behavior goes up dramatically. The same holds true for any choice we make. If we choose to do what's right because we want it and not because we're bribed or forced into it, we repeat it and become better people along the way. The key is it takes time and experience, neither of which is in huge abundance at the age of 18. Hopefully there has been enough before then to keep us trying afterward.

5) Keeping your eye on the end goal does wonders for motivation. Reaching that goal does wonders for confidence. Watching your kids do both feels fabulous. The only way it really happens, though, is to step back and encourage them from the sidelines. They have to decide for themselves what path to take and then move along it. I can advise, direct, and bounce ideas, but as they grow my job shifts to cheering, supporting, and encouraging.

So, two months to 16 and 20 months to "adulthood". Where are we? Pretty good in some ways, some work to do in others. Erica has done pretty well, despite the lack of experience on the part of her parents! How come I don't have all the right answers at this point that I seem to remember my parents having?! Guess we all keep trying our best and trusting our shortcomings will be made up in the end.

You're Invited!! (Or at least you should have been.)

It's August. At our house that means lots of things are going on. This year the list looks something like this so far: the end of youth conference, Shan's birthday, a little Nelson reunion, Greg's birthday, Steven's birthday, friends visiting for BYU Education Week, the start of school, the start of soccer, the start of school again, the start of soccer for a second time, and our anniversary. I always hope that September brings a little bit of calm, but I'm giving up on that this year. So, bring on the rest of the birthdays and holidays and I'm looking forward to a fabulous nap in January. I've included a few pictures, if I have them, so you can feel a part of our month and all the celebrations, even if I forgot to send an invitation in time.

Shan in Maple Canyon on her birthday and at the end of Youth Conference (It's a "two-fer-one" shot. Facebook has the rest of the Youth Conference pics or email and I'll send you an invitation. The other birthday pics are of me blowing out candles with wet hair. They will not be posted here or on Facebook. Not even if you send me an email.)

Most of the Nelsons in town for our little reunion.
We're on the observation deck at the Church Office Building in Salt Lake trying to not be blown off. Majorly windy day. Others joined us later in the week, but I don't have any pictures.

Happy Birthday to all the Nelsons who have a birthday in August!
(Shan, Terri, Julia, Greg, Steven, Mike, and David)

Happy Birthday, Greg!
(He's holding the wooden knives that Steven carved for him.)

Happy Birthday, Steven!
He's holding the wooden knife Greg carved for him. It was a carving week. He also wanted this picture left just the way it was because, and I quote, "We look AWESOME with red eyes."

It was also an electric week capped with the complete dismantling of an old boom box when Steven got a new one for his birthday (which was still in the box at this point!). And I quote, "This is even better than video games!" So, I guess they really are happier without real presents. It may not be boxes like when they were 1, but old radios seem to make great presents. That should save on money spent at Christmas. (hint! hint!)

I forgot to take any pictures of our the two sweet ladies who stayed with us during Education Week, but they would go right here in our time line if they existed. I would like to make it to Ed. Week at some ppint. Unfortunately, it falls on the first week of school and I kind of feel like a mom ought to be around that first week. Maybe I'm crazy, but Ed. Week will still be there even when I don't have to think about the magical First Day of School.

That brings us to the first First Day of School:

Joseph- 7th grade

Steven- 5th grade

Ryan- 3rd grade (Yes, I TRIED to tell him those shorts didn't really match and couldn't he PLEASE make a better First Day impression and change into jean shorts, but he was quite adamant that black goes with blue and this is what he wanted to wear on his first day. Oh well. Moms worry about that kind of thing too much, I guess.)

The first First Day of school was also the first soccer game for Ryan this season.
(Don't you just LOVE his shorts? He does.)

A small diversion. Greg was working on a video project for the Library this week. This is the Science section at the library on the first First Day of School for us. Notice that it is empty. They have not started school, yet, and for some reason the people at Education Week don't stop down there much. I kept trying to get my friends to go down there for a nap because it's quite and there are soft couches to lay on, but I don't think even they stopped in. Oh well, their loss!

We had two first days of school because the middle school and high school use the first First Day of School as an orientation for the incoming 7th and 9th graders respectively. So, Joseph, Steven, and Ryan went on the first First Day. Erica and Spencer went on the second First Day.

Erica- 11th grade
(Yes, she catches the bus at "Sun-rise O'clock"- at least for now. Later in the fall and winter she catches it pre-dawn.)

Spencer- 8th grade

If we had a kindergartner we would have a third First Day, but that's not until next week and thankfully it won't impact our lives. Whew! Our little friend, Lizzie, is very anxiously counting down the days, though.

The second First Day also happened to fall on our 17th anniversary. It did not even dawn on me to take any pictures. Greg took the following:

because the second First Day and our anniversary also happened to be Steven's first soccer game day. It was also soccer practice for Spencer and Joseph as well as the open house at the middle school. Greg went with Steven while I took Spencer and Joseph. So, in order to have a little celebration, Greg took the day off and we went to the temple and out to lunch at the Sky Room Restaurant at BYU. (There are many, many Ed. Week people that visit the Sky Room. Maybe that's why they're not in the library.)

Well, that's it for now. Greg, Spencer, and Joseph had a scout camp out last night (no pictures, aren't you glad!) and we had a Stake picnic tonight.

As my friend, Lisa, named her- Erica Shortcake

Our friend, Dallas.
And everyone thinks we are boring people. Just look how wild and crazy we can be.

I thought it was nice of the Stake to fix dinner for me to celebrate our second-day-after-our-anniversary. Do you celebrate that day? We usually don't either.

I should probably write...

As the title of this blog is "Everyday Miracles", the idea was to record everyday, or at least close to it. Who knew July 8 was so long ago!

So, what's miraculous about today, or even any of the last 15?

1) The pumpkins have lived and we actually have a pumpkin growing. For some reason, there are currently LOTS of male flowers on the plants, so one is all we have, but it appears there may be a couple more female flowers opening soon.

2) Two days ago I got all the laundry washed, folded, and into the right bedroom. Yesterday was the same, only because I never put any laundry into the laundry room. As a result, the baskets in the laundry room were put away and empty for more than 24 hours.

3) We had a Young Women presidency meeting that only lasted 45 minutes.

4) I found out that even though school is going to be starting a day later than originally announced, all of the extra days off have been canceled- I assume for budgetary reasons. Now we only have days off around actual holidays. I'm happy, Erica is not.

5) Steven and Ryan have somehow kept themselves nicely entertained even though Spencer and Joseph are at scout camp.

6) The heat has reminded me that the person who invented air conditioning deserves a Nobel Peace Prize.

7) Sparkling blueberry frozen yogurt is really yummy. Another wonderful invention.

8) Saw a perfect clear double rainbow right outside the front door.

9) Made tofu spinach dip and people (most of whom were not related to me) actually liked it. Erica was the only real exception, though I'm not sure Greg ever had the chance to try it.

10) Watched Greg run the games for the little kids at the Library picnic and was reminded why he's such a great dad.

11) Joseph told me he likes baby carrots. (About fell down at that announcement.)

12) Ryan said he's beginning to like green beans. (Good thing I was already sitting down at the table. FYI- I don't know what the current "# of times to try before they like it" guide doctors are telling moms these days, but for us it was 8 years, 1 month, and about 2 weeks of having green beans a couple of times a week.)

13) USM didn't raise their tuition for Greg's MLIS program for the fall.

14) After a year of living here, Greg and I fixed the sprinkling system. Now, not only do all the heads spray like they should, not one of them needed to be replaced. They just had dirt, rocks, lint, and grass inside the filters or needed the spray levels adjusted.

15) I hiked up to the "Y" twice in 3 days and had fun doing so.

16) Saw the chewed piece of gum that some passerby thought would be funny to stick on the black car door handle in the hot sun before I put my thumb in it when opening the door after shopping and had a piece of paper handy to remove it.

So, what little miracles have happened for you today?

Simple Math

Tonight is one of the top favorite nights of the year if you are female at our house. The level of favoritism if you're male probably depends on who you are and your age bracket, but enjoyment is usually expressed by all (especially if it's not cold and everyone sleeps!). It's Father & Sons campout weekend. Know why it's the female favorite? It's very simple math, really.

Normally it looks something like this:
1 father+1 mother+1 daughter+4 sons = Our Family Most Of The Time (and I'm glad)

However, during Father & Sons campout it's more like this:
Our Family Most Of The Time-1 father-4 sons=1 mother + 1 daughter (and it's fun!)

See, simple.

I love my family dearly but sometimes it's nice to have a change of scenery. The males have a new sleeping arrangement for the night and the scenery at home changes a bit. Erica and I have a fun evening together and I don't have to pack a bag or sleep on the ground. What's not to love?!

We'll return the favor for the second year in a row when Erica and I head of to girl's camp later this summer, only we'll have to pack a BIG bag and sleep on the ground for 5 days instead of just one. Last year the males had a great week and Dad was the fun-meister. I don't see that changing at all this year.

Tonight we took it easy. Since camp is so close to home (we can pretty much see the canyon from the front yard) Greg thought it would be better to just eat dinner at home and not haul it all to camp. I agreed because I didn't have to shop for anything extra and then help pack it all. So, Erica and I didn't go out for dinner, but we did go get ice cream and stay up late watching movies. Just to let you know how wild and crazy we are- we stayed up late watching "Nativity" and "Mobsters and Mormons". Whew, bet you could hear the noise all the way at your house!

Now, I'm writing this post and Erica fell asleep on my bed. She can stay as long as she stays on her own side. Sleeping soundly and comfortably in my own bed is one of the perks of this particular night, after all, and I'm not giving it up. Sweet dreams!

Conference Campfire

The year we moved to NH we started a tradition of having a family campfire for the Family Home Evening right after Conference. We found the kids would sit and talk about what they learned from Conference if they could be mesmerized by the fire and the roasting of marshmallows. For the most part, it was a great activity, though we had a couple of rainy campfire experiences as well. After moving back to AZ almost 2 years ago (has it really been that long?!) we found ourselves in a home that wasn't so campfire friendly. We've kind of made-do ever since. I hadn't really thought how we'd do a campfire here, but learned yesterday we could do it in our unplanted garden. Don't know why I didn't think of that as that's where we did this particular activity in NH to begin with. Ah, a mind is a terrible thing to waste!

Having not planned for an actual campfire this year, we made our own little outdoor experience indoors. The only bummer was that today was gorgeous and would have been really nice outside. Oh well! I'd originally thought we'd make the Indoor S'mores bars from the Golden Grahams box. Greg reminded me last night of the mini s'mores I'd learned about at Cub Scout Round Table last fall, so we did those instead. It was a pretty fun activity. We did use actual fire inside the house, so maybe it wouldn't be so great if the boys were still little. The general idea is to roast a mini marshmallow over a candle (we used pink birthday candles as that color seems to be left over a lot at this house!) and smash it and a milk chocolate chocolate chip between two pieces of Golden Grahams (or the generic equivalent) cereal for a one-bite s'more. I made the candles stand on the plate by melting the bottoms a little and holding them on the plate while they cooled.


The kids thought it was great that they got their own "fire" and plateful of ingredients. They were also great talking about Conference. Mission accomplished! We might just redo it this way again next time- I got to sit in a chair in the comfort of the dining room, no ingredients had to be hauled in and out of the house, no smokey smell on everything, and I ate way less junk than I would have with regular s'mores. What's not to love!