Best Thing About Today

I was up at 4:15 this morning. That was not the best thing about today. Being at the temple first thing with my children was pretty good, though. I'd say it ties for first. Coming home and getting everyone else out the door by 7:30 was also nice. Not as good as a nap at 7:40, though, made even better by the numbers "10:12" on the clock when the phone woke me up. And thus we have the other half of the tie! I should get so much sleep all the time.

Second place was the Fall Festival at church tonight. How could one not have a great time with guys like these?

Yes, Greg's dressed as a tourist.
No, he does not dress like that all the time.
Spencer is his bodyguard.
(As if the outfit wouldn't keep harm at a very safe distance!)

What a day! Must be time for bed. Again. A body can only take so much excitement.

Tomatoes

2 bags in the fridge this morning= 11 quarts in bottles this afternoon.

5 bags to go.

Good thing I love tomatoes.
I might feel like eating them again sometime after Christmas.

Right

I should be doing dishes, but I don't feel like it. I want to write something, but haven't figured how to put what I want to say into words. Rock and a hard place. Tough one.

For those that don't know, we've had a pretty amazing weekend. The kids had Fall Break beginning last Wednesday. It happened to coincide with the first available time at the Mesa Temple for my one-year-ago baptized brother-in-law to take my sister and their sweet family to the Mesa temple to be sealed for eternity. Greg, his dad (Tom), and I were able to spend part of an afternoon in the Mesa temple with three of our children doing baptisms and confirmations. Another brother was able to schedule his 8-year-old daughter's baptism for the same weekend. All of my siblings, most of their spouses, both of my parents, my father-in-law, and my grandmother were able to be together for a few days. I love my family, all of it, both sides, and I love every minute we get to spend together.

The kids picked up perfectly timed cases of gatroenteritis on the drive home. Even this turned out to have several silver linings. Since all 5 were all sick at the same time they kind of watched out for each other. Sunday morning found them all on the floor in the living room with blankets and bowls, keeping each other company. That sight continued while Greg, Tom, and I went to church that afternoon. We were met there by Greg's brother (Mike) and his wife (Terri) and later my Aunt Nancy. They were all in our ward to be present while Greg was sustained as our bishop that day. All 5 of our kids missed it. I tried calling home on the cell phone so they could at least listen on the speaker phone at home, but the mike on my cell phone wasn't strong enough. The sweetest part came when Tom and I got home after church, though. The kids had really wanted to be there and were bummed when they couldn't hear anything. Since they couldn't hear what was happening and when, they picked a random spot during their meeting and all raised their hands to sustain their dad on their own. I don't know why that meant so much to me. I guess I just felt like that was the end of any issues we'd have with dad being bishop and gone alot. I hope I'm right.

I slept more and better than I had in weeks that night. Probably had nothing at all to do with getting no sleep the night before with kids sick all night. I know it had lots to do with a feeling of peace and that everything was right. Travel was done, we'd had some great family time, and the stress of keeping hushed about the bishop news was over. Everyone keeps asking me how life is going now. All I can say is great so far. Regular life hasn't been affected at all (knock on wood at the end of day three!). The kids are all back on their feet and back to school. I'm coming to grips with the fact that my remaining time in YW is rapidly growing very short. Even the dishes and backlog on the rest of the housework haven't been able to disrupt this feeling that everything is just "right" with the world. I don't know how long this will last, but I'm loving it.

Oh, What Can You Do In 15 Minutes?

I've just been going over the errands I ran this morning in the 15 minutes I have until I need to head out to another and was amazed at what actually got done this morning- yes I guess I do occasionally have days like that. I had kind of imagined that these things would take all day, but really they all took about 15 minutes, maybe 30, each, not counting drive time. Wanna see what you can do in 15 minutes?

1) Normally, take a child to the orthodontist. Today they were dealing with a fussy bracket that didn't want to stay on, so it took a bit longer. No complaints from said child who was missing school, BTW and I found out the orthodontist went to Westwood High School in Mesa. Small world.

2) Pick up YW Medallions at the Distribution Center. (Definitely less than 15 minutes.)

3) Stop at the library for some books on CD. This one was probably closer to 30 minutes because I didn't know exactly what I wanted.

4) Stop at the music store for bass rosin and valve oil (for a trumpet). Again, definitely less than 15 minutes.

5) Have a screw removed from your tire, repair the hole, then rotate and inflate all tires to proper pressure. (I suppose I should say read the newspaper and Ensign while someone else does all those things to your tires!)

6) Drive past Taco Bell twice, while hungry, and not stop to by your favorite soft tacos and mexican pizza. (Less than 15 minutes, for sure, but had those moments where it definitely seemed longer!)

7) Heat up a quick, non-Taco Bell lunch. (It was good anyway.)

8) Catch up on blog reading.

9) Write my own blog post.

10) Make a bed. Definitely less than 15 minutes, and boy would I like to use the spare minutes to climb in said bed and nap. Oh well. I can avoid Taco Bell, I can avoid a nap.

How about you? What can you do in 15 minutes today? Bet it's a lot more than you think. Good Luck!

Final Harvest

A week ago our thermometer read 100 degrees in the afternoon. It's somewhat high because the outdoor sensor gets some reflected heat in the afternoon. The actual temp was probably in the low 90's. The next day we had rain and highs in the 50's. I don't think it's been out of the 60's since then. Steven said today that winter is kind of slowly sneaking up on us. I told him I thought it jumped out of nowhere and grabbed us by the throat!

The cooler day time highs make for lower lows. Most of what was left in the garden doesn't do well below freezing so last week we picked just about everything. The zucchini had pretty much produced its last already. The tomatoes had come up so late that the plants were loaded with tons of green tomatoes. I was promised that the green ones would ripen, so we picked the bigger ones and have had them sitting on the floor in the dining room where they are slowly turning red.

Tonight were are supposed to be down in the high 20's, so we decided to gather what remained. As I'd picked the last round of tomatoes in the dark I missed a few, so Steven and I picked another 1/2 bag or so tonight . We figured we ended up with 135 pounds, give or take, from 35 or so plants. Not bad for not giving the plants a whole growing season. The picture above shows most of them. There's a bag in the fridge that has already turned red and a bag of green that wouldn't fit on the table. Can't wait to try my hand at canning them if I can convince Erica to leave us a few. The two zucchini are the two we decided to leave and let grow as long as we could. The boys thought it would be cool to see if they would explode, but it was not to be. They've been growing a month or so. Next time we'll have to leave them out all season and see what happens. I have no idea how many zucchini we ended up with, but the freezer is full, the kids are tired of eating it , and the neighbors don't like to see me coming anymore! The 2-liter bottle is there just for size reference. We've not figured how to grow soda, though I'm sure the kids would love it. 5 pumpkins grew, but I accidentally sliced into the skin of one when I tried taking off the vine a couple of weeks ago, so it's already been cooked and eaten or frozen.

That's about it. There are onions still outside, but they're pretty small still. I've been told that they winter-over pretty well so I thought we'd leave them and see what happens. The strawberries are still producing on occasion, too, but I think that's about done as well. All in all, it's been a good experiment and the backard was put to much better use this summer than the weed factory we had last year!

Of Life and Parenting

I remember as a young girl planning to have the perfect family. I was going to be done making mistakes by the time I was grown up. (Go ahead and insert a big hearty laugh right here!) When Erica was a baby I decided I'd just live perfectly today and then get up and live perfectly again tomorrow. I wouldn't worry about the future because all those perfect todays would create a perfect past and set a habit for future ones. (Another laugh.) Because I would be living perfectly, of course my family would as well. (And another.) My children would always do what was right and have clean bedrooms without my asking. (And another.) Now, this isn't a confession of any major sins, but somewhere along the line I missed a day or two (or 10,000) of those perfect days. Despite my best intentions I keep making mistakes and so does the rest of my family. I'm not including a clean bedroom count for today on purpose because it would not be a very large number by any measure!

Having a child who has as many months left in high school as I have fingers and toes has led me along some interesting thought paths lately. I've been thinking for the last little while about helping children grow and be independent- and not just financially. My mom told me once that one of their goals as parents was to have their children be completely responsible for themselves by the time the reached the age of 16. That way they could have two years of making decisions and living with the consequences of those decisions while they lived at home and had a huge safety net around them. I've always thought that was a good idea. My oldest is almost 16 and I find myself wondering how we're doing. There are lots of questions. Can she wash clothes, buy and prepare food, handle a bad day, find a job, maintain grades, safely drive the car, make good choices, be responsible, choose to be happy? I'm realizing that no one is going to show up and hand me a "parenting diploma" when each child reaches the point of independence so I know we're done. We have to hope we've done enough when it's time for them to spread their wings and fly.

The darn thing is that each child is different. Erica is great in certain areas while each of the boys have their own strengths as well, but none of them is the same. Each one also has their own, individual, weaknesses- alot of them handed them by their parents! That means that where we step in to support one child will not be needed for another. I think "one-size-fits-all" parenting is easier! This different personality thing leads to too many questions. Where does one draw the line? When does helping out your family members and doing something nice cross the line to enabling? How do we make it "fair" for everyone? How do you know you've taught lessons well enough that your children will be able to live healthy, productive lives on their own? I don't pretend to even come close to having any, much less all the answers, but there are some things I'm slowly beginning to understand.

1) I wasn't perfect starting out on my own, so why should I expect my children to be? It's ok to make mistakes, hurt feelings, and bounce a check in the process of growing up as long as we learn from the experiences, change, and don't make them habits. Sometimes one returned check will do more to prevent any others than all the discussions and teaching by a parent. As a perfectionist, though, it's hard to allow mistakes to happen when there's something I can do to prevent it. Too bad my children's lives are theirs and not mine! Experience is one great teacher.

2) Heavenly Father loves me, warts and all. The least I can do is pass that along to my earthly children. I want them to understand and forgive me when I make mistakes, I can do the same. We love each other, no matter what.

3) The Atonement. Do we REALLY understand the amazing blessing it is? Do we REALLY understand what it means to have a mistake- large or small- removed, gone, cleaned up, paid for; that each of us can be clean and have a fresh start from wherever we happen to be? There is work involved, to be sure, but it's possible. The absolutely amazing part is that Heavenly Father wants it for us and has done everything He can to make it happen. He doesn't turn His back at mistake #1 say, "Forget it." and move on. He comes back everytime that we let Him. The other part of that is that He promises to make up any shortcomings we have as long as we're trying the best we know how. My best effort will be different than any of my children because we're different people, but the shortcoming will still be made up. Amazing.

4) There is nothing more valuable than knowing and doing for ourselves. I heard on the radio yesterday that studies show that paying children for grades or rewarding them with cash or treats for finishing schoolwork does absolutely nothing to help them scholastically. I think life is the same. If I choose to help out a neighbor because I will get a reward, I have very little chance of doing so a second time unless a reward is offered again. If, however, I help a neighbor because I love them and like the good feeling it brings, then my chances of repeating that behavior goes up dramatically. The same holds true for any choice we make. If we choose to do what's right because we want it and not because we're bribed or forced into it, we repeat it and become better people along the way. The key is it takes time and experience, neither of which is in huge abundance at the age of 18. Hopefully there has been enough before then to keep us trying afterward.

5) Keeping your eye on the end goal does wonders for motivation. Reaching that goal does wonders for confidence. Watching your kids do both feels fabulous. The only way it really happens, though, is to step back and encourage them from the sidelines. They have to decide for themselves what path to take and then move along it. I can advise, direct, and bounce ideas, but as they grow my job shifts to cheering, supporting, and encouraging.

So, two months to 16 and 20 months to "adulthood". Where are we? Pretty good in some ways, some work to do in others. Erica has done pretty well, despite the lack of experience on the part of her parents! How come I don't have all the right answers at this point that I seem to remember my parents having?! Guess we all keep trying our best and trusting our shortcomings will be made up in the end.

Never Mind (too good to be true)

Erica came home from school to tell me that Parent/Teacher conferences for the high school are this afternoon. She just found out herself. That's the second major thing they've neglected to send notice home about. I'll have to check the school calendar online better, I suppose. Guess the rest of the shopping will have to wait.